Diary Entry

You know, I lead a double life.

As my byline says, I'm the food editor, not just the Diary scribe. As such, I occasionally get products sent to me for testing and review. Frequently, the items sent are not diet-friendly.

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Case in point: cheeseburger fingers. I tested them last week after the manufacturer, Advance Brands, sent them to me nicely packed in dry ice. (see review)

Now, these are NOT diet food, and they don't claim to be. They're good old-fashioned American munchies, designed to satiate the heartiest football fan or after-school horde. As such, their impact on my daily intake log was substantial.

But what am I to do? I can't very well turn away part of my job.

Any of you who have been reading for a while know what I did: I compensated. I baked, microwaved and deep-fried to the extent necessary; then cut some intake out over the next couple of days to compensate for the indulgence. The trick is not to go "heavy" one day and then try to starve yourself the next day to make up for it. Just trim around the edges ... skip your afternoon snack or something similar to even things out gradually.

What's Your Motto?

Some recent postings on the Diary of a Fat Man message board have gotten me to thinking about mottos. We all have them in some form. I recall an "Ally McBeal" episode where the characters were trying to figure out their theme songs. What is a theme song but a motto in musical form?

After much ponderance, I've adopted as my motto one posted by one of the participants in the forum: Never trade what you want most for what you want at the moment.

Stop and think about it for a moment, and you'll see the genius of it. For me, it's the ultimate "challenge" to keep my fingers out of the candy dish. Every time I'm tempted by that box of Little Debbie oatmeal cream sandwiches at the store, I ask myself if that indulgence is worth not getting down to my goal weight. Every time I'm tempted by a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I ask myself if that Karamel Sutra is worth expanding out of my newly taken-in jeans.

So far, it's worked almost every time.

The trick is not to abandon a good motto just because it doesn't work constantly. Sometimes, your temptation or "want" level is going to go off the charts, and you're going to dive headfirst into the cookie jar. As long as your motto/slogan/theme song works at least most of the time, stick with it! Embroider it on a sampler to hang on the fridge. Write it on a chalkboard. Paint it on a wall.

I know, some of you out there are shaking your head. "He's gone soft," you're saying, "He's starting to spout platitudes like all the rest of them."

Well, Bunky, it's like this: if it works then for gosh sakes do it! We're talking about life and death stuff here, folks. That excess poundage you're toting around isn't just aesthically unwelcome, it's putting strain on everything from your heart to your anklebones. If you don't get it off, you're going to end up pushing up daisies a lot sooner than you'd planned. If it takes a trite bit of philosophy to keep you on track, grab onto it with both hands and hang on tight.

What are some of your mottos? Let me know and I'll put together a list in a future column.

Paulette Mitchell

And to close this week: If you subscribe to your food section's daily e-mail alerts, you by now have grown accustomed to seeing a new recipe from our celebrity chef, Paulette Mitchell, in your box every day. She's a world-famous vegetarian chef, but that's not all she puts together. Her chicken and seafood recipes are marvelous, and most of them are very diet-friendly. She gets flavor from herbs and spices, rather than fats. Check out the daily recipe on your local site!

Got a question? A brag? A topic you'd like to see discussed? Drop me a line anytime. As ever, expressions of undying love and large cash grants are accepted.

Previous Stories:

• July 15, 2004: Let's Eat!
• July 1, 2004: You Gotta Have Friends
• June 17, 2004: Braggin' Again!
• June 3, 2004: Hitting Bottom
• May 20, 2004: Make Room!
• May 3, 2004: The Big Payoff
• April 20, 2004: Stop The Insanity!
• April 8, 2004: Time To Rededicate
• March 25, 2004: Brag, Brag, Brag
• March 11, 2004: Excessive Celebration