Debtors Anonymous Helps Woman Get Her Life Back

She goes by the name Diana. The Pittsburgh mother of three is a recovering debtor.

Diana's journey into debt started many years ago. As a student she barely had enough money for rent, but that didn't stop her from spending.

She remembers one incident that should have been a sign of trouble.

"I went to a show and there was a beautiful ring that cost $350 and I bought it with no thought that I had a rent payment due. I bought that ring and eventually was evicted from that apartment."

The spending didn't get really extreme until, "I got into debt after I got my first job that paid enough, so I could get a credit card."

She knew she had a problem when she realized she had spent $10,000 with a credit card that had only a $2,000 limit.

Her soon to be husband was worried about that debt, so Diana managed to pay it off before the wedding.

Once married however the couple's credit card limit tripled and so did her spending.

With Diana paying the bills it was easy to keep her spending habits secret from her husband. "I would hide the bills or get them to make sure he didn't see them. I made sure I paid the minimum balance to make sure we didn't get phone calls."

She believes her husband didn't really want to face the problem. "People who marry debtors turn a blind eye because it's uncomfortable to look at that. It's uncomfortable to look at a spouse who is completely out of control."

And she was out of control.

An artist and crafter, she spent thousands on art supplies and fabric. "I'd buy bolts and bolts of fabric when I only needed a quarter yard for the scarves I made."

Despite her husband's good paying job the couple were $30,000 in debt, with no savings and no pension fund. Her marriage was on the verge of divorce.

Diana had finally hit bottom.

She joined Debtors Anonymous- a 12 step program for people addicted to spending.

She began to learn what was behind her spending habits.

She realized, "Binge spending never has anything to do with need, it's about want and instant gratification."

The journey out of debt was not easy for Diana. She remembers feeling sick to her stomach when she went to her first Debtors Anonymous meeting. "My hope was that I would go there and they'd tell me the magic thing I needed to do and I wouldn't have to come back. I thought it was all about the checkbook."

One of the first things Diana had to do was find a sponsor

A sponsor is someone that has been in recovery for several months and can help out new members.

When Diana's sponsor suggested she cut up her credit cards she thought he was crazy. She thought, "I can't do that it was my identity. Going into a store presenting my credit card and buying whatever I wanted."

Finally after a month she did cut up the cards. She also began writing down everything she bought from a pad of paper to a cup of coffee.

Debtors Anonymous helped her figure out a budget plan.

She got into the habit of calling someone before she went to the mall. "I would call and the person at the other end wouldn't say, 'Why are you going to the mall?' They'd say, 'How are you feeling?' and usually I was upset about something. I wanted to feel better and that old behavior of spending money made me feel better even for a small amount of time"

Within about a year after joining Debtors Anonymous Diana and her husband were able to buy a house, but it took her husband several months to trust her again. Now they make financial decisions together.

Within two years they were out of debt and she has been debt free since.

Something Diana treasures, "I feel good. We have a home. We have a pension plan, a college plan for our children. A healthy savings account and my children are growing up healthy."

So how do you know if you have a spending problem?

Here are some things to look out for: - Feeling really good every time you make a purchase - Hiding the amount of debit from a spouse - Not being sure how much you owe - Hiding purchases from family and friends - Compulsive shopping. Making impulsive purchases - Leaving price tags on clothes so they can be returned; not using items you've purchased.

More Info: - Debtors Anonymous