SPILLVILLE, Iowa — As a northeastern Iowa man was laid to rest Thursday, his obituary sounded a warning for those in the hereafter.
“Good luck, God.”
The family of Tim Schrandt put together a funny obituary to send off the 63-year-old Spillville resident, who was buried with full military honors at the St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church, The Courier of Waterloo-Cedar Falls reported.
The obituary appears on the website of Schluter-Balik Funeral Home and Cremation Service, and it starts off innocently enough.
However, his family noted that for the record, Schrandt did not lose his battle. "When he died, the cancer died, so technically it was a tie!" the obituary read. "He was ready to meet his Maker, we're just not sure 'The Maker' is ready to meet Tim."
Schrandt’s family noted that he made his “last inappropriate comment” on March 29.
"For those of you that did meet him, we apologize, as we're sure he probably offended you," the obituary reads. "He was world renowned for not holding back and telling it like it is."
Schrandt worked at Camcar/Stanley Black and Decker in Decorah for 30 years "with many friends and 'a bunch of morons' — his words, not ours," the obituary reads. "Well, not exactly his words, because that would have included a bunch of swear words."
Schrandt left behind "a hell of a lot of stuff," including a "Virgin Mary in a bathtub shrine," taught his two granddaughters to cuss, and will be met enthusiastically on the other side by apparently thirsty family members who died before him," according to the obituary.
“Tim was in charge of getting the beer and ice for our family reunions, so they will be happy to see him,” the obituary reads.
Speaking of beer, the family said a GoFundMe account was being considered for the makers of Old Style Beer.
"We anticipate they are about to experience significant hardship as a result of the loss of Tim's business," the obituary reads. "Keep them in your thoughts."
It was an uncommon obituary for a man whose family said was “anything but common.”
“I would have loved to have known this ole cuss!” read an entry from “Des Moines Daisy of Iowa.”
“Tim, I didn't know you but I miss you already,” wrote Cynthia Robbins of Lake Station, Indiana. “RIP.”
© 2020 Cox Media Group