Some communication tips for when you are sharing health news with your family are to first give yourself time to process the news, and only once you are ready to share it with your family. Always be honest without feeling obligated to explain, and choose the right time and setting for the sharing.
It can be challenging to receive a diagnosis of a serious health condition, no matter what it might be. When such a situation arises, the first thing most people think about is how to inform their loved ones. It can be overwhelming to share such news when you are dealing with the aftermath yourself.
Don't just rush into such conversations, though. It's important to prepare yourself beforehand, so the conversation can go more smoothly, bringing your entire family even closer as you navigate this difficult life situation.
Why Should You Give Yourself Time to Process the News?
Most people, when they receive a diagnosis of a serious health condition, will need immense amounts of time to process this information. It isn't easy knowing or realizing that your time on this planet is limited somehow, that you are, in fact, mortal.
We all walk around this world thinking that we are going to live forever. Being given news that proves otherwise can be jarring.
Once you receive such news, it's okay to take a few days or weeks to process this information yourself. There is no one right way to do this. You can journal if that helps, or you can get counseling.
You can even start looking into caregiver resources if you are alone and will need to take care of things when your family is too busy to do it themselves. All of this to say, your mental and physical health should be a priority for you.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
Once you have processed the news and feel ready to share it with your family, then you will want to pick the right time and setting. Don't feel obligated to share it with them as soon as possible.
If the next family event is Christmas or Thanksgiving, and you would rather not ruin the holidays with such news, you are welcome to hold off until a few days after the event ends. It's all up to you.
Whenever possible, choose a quiet, private setting where you can speak without interruptions. Avoid bringing up the subject when family members are rushing between responsibilities or when you have limited time to discuss their questions.
As much as possible, try to have an in-person conversation about this, rather than on the phone or worse through text or email. Of course, if a written message is all you can manage, that's fine as well.
Check in with yourself as much as possible to see where you are standing with your own emotional needs.
Be Honest Without Feeling Obligated to Explain Everything
You should share as much or as little as you wish. There is no obligation to do any more than that. You can explain the following:
- What you know about the diagnosis
- What your healthcare team has recommended
- What the next steps may involve
If your family has questions, and you feel comfortable answering them, then go ahead with that. If you need help in answering these questions and you feel inadequate, you can consider cancer treatment and support services.
Prepare for Different Emotional Reactions
Not everyone will have an emotional reaction as expected. People deal with bad news in different ways. People might do the following:
- Become emotional
- Ask numerous questions
- Offer immediate solutions
- Struggle to find the right words
These reactions only reflect fear, concern, or uncertainty, and aren't a reflection of how much the person cares.
Explain What Kind of Support You Need
Don't forget to inform your loved ones how they can support you. If you need to be driven to appointments, or if you need financial support, be honest about it, so everything is out in the open. Other ways they can support you are:
- Help with meals
- Assistance with household responsibilities
- Someone who can listen without immediately offering advice
Everyone has different needs, so ask for what you want and need and don't be shy about it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is It Important to Establish Boundaries When Sharing a Diagnosis?
Yes, absolutely. You will want to establish boundaries when sharing a serious health condition with your loved ones. You will have your own thoughts on how you are going to navigate this condition, and there's no need to let anyone else sway your decisions.
Decide who you want to inform, and whether you want to tell relatives. If you aren't comfortable with everyone knowing your business, you don't need to.
Is It Okay to Seek Out Additional Support?
Yes. It's so important that you seek out counseling services or caregiver resources, as these can ensure that your emotional well-being stays optimal.
You need to take care of yourself as you need to. You shouldn't compare yourself to others who have had a serious health condition diagnosis, as everyone deals with these difficult situations differently.
If you are struggling, consider speaking with a:
- Counselor
- Social worker
- Patient support group
- Another qualified professional
Your healthcare team may be able to recommend resources suited to your diagnosis and circumstances. There's no shame in seeking out help. You are going through one of the hardest things anyone can go through.
A Serious Health Condition Diagnosis Needs Careful Navigation
Talking to your family about a serious health condition is rarely a single conversation. When getting such a diagnosis, you will want to take each step slowly and go at your own pace. This is not a race, so you don't have to rush.
Establish your boundaries and seek out additional support as necessary. It's time to really learn what your values are and follow them during this difficult time.
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