‘Please adopt this hellion’: Foster family creates expletive-filled site to get dog adopted

HOUSTON — Every dog has its moments of excitement, but Hank is apparently a different breed of energetic craziness and his foster family is pulling out all the stops, even creating a website, to get him to his forever home and out of theirs.

Warning, the website is filled with almost every expletive under the sun to describe Hank’s propensity for raising a ruckus.

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Christine Clauder, from Houston, Texas, says Hank is about a year-old Siberian black mouth cur, People magazine reported.

The breed is a hybrid, according to the website WebWalking. It’s a mix between a Siberian husky and a black mouth cur. They are a large dog that will weigh about 70 pounds when fully grown. They like to work, are hunters and make good watchdogs, the site said. The breed tends to be active but can become lazy, but that does not seem to be the case with Hank.

And to say that he’s excitable, rambunctious and energetic doesn’t even start to explain how much of a handful he is.

Clauder created the website PleaseAdoptHank.

On the nice end of the spectrum, Clauder describes her foster as “54 pounds of pure, unadulterated, kinetic energy with eyes like the ocean.”

She also wrote “We’re all tired of Hank. Not because we don’t love him, we’re just TIRED. It’s like he drank ALL OUR COFFEE.”

On the other end of the spectrum, the one with language not fit for kids or work, she lovingly describes Hank using almost every foul-mouthed description of the “hellion.”

She compared the effort of trying to get Hank out of their home to “trying to find a Tickle-Me-Elmo during Christmas ‘96.”

She also wrote, “He has so much energy, Governor Abbott called us to see if he could plug the Texas power grid into him.”

Clauder suggests that the right person to welcome Hank into their lives could be a fan of CrossFit.

“That kind of high energy personality is just the right kind of person that Hank would LOVE to be around.”

Clauder added “testimonials” on the website to Hank’s nature, with one comparing hank to “a Peloton coach after a triple espresso.”

To read more about Hank in all of the website’s profanity-filled glory, click here.